A testimony by Karen: My Jericho Wall
My Jericho Wall
One week ago, my husband and I went to a prophetic gathering where a couple were offering prophetic words to individuals and couples. It was my first time and I was extremely nervous. My husband went to Bible College and has both given and received dozens of prophetic words over the last 20 years. But not me. I kept grabbing his leg to touch something familiar, my legs shaking, my heart beating faster and faster. It felt like the first time that I decided to ride a big, scary roller coaster. I watched intently as they gave prophetic words to the people in front of us. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but I could tell that it was having a profound impact on both the givers and receivers. What would they say to me? Would I be receiving clarity on something already on my mind? Or would it be defining my future and the ministry that several people have told me I would one day start? Do they have something to say about my marriage? Would we be pleased or stunned? Would it be a healing word? Oh no, do they ever give scary words? I don’t think they do, but what if?!?! These thoughts raced through my mind like a Formula One car on race day. Ok, ok, I can do this. Oh Lord, you know that I’m just a wee bit scared, right? But beyond excited for what the Lord wanted them to tell me. When there were only two people ahead of me, I began to pray fervently, telling the Lord that I would obey whatever He told me to do and receive it with ears of gratitude and joy.
Just before the woman grabbed my hand, I let out a deep breath and buckled up for the roller coaster in my mind. The woman immediately began to prophesy. She told me that she could see a Jericho Wall around me and that the Lord wanted me to press in for the next 6 days to identify the wall that needed to be torn down. Then on the 7th day, He would reveal the worldwide ministry He wants me start. She told me the key was that I had to “believe” that the wall would tumble for the prophetic word to come to fruition. I had been seeing images of a shofar, like the ones the Israelites blew as they marched around the Jericho Wall, over the past month and had no idea why. Now I did. It was a God wink.
I immediately began to search my mental database for what my Jericho Wall was. Nothing came to mind over the next hour or so. Then I asked my husband what he thought it was. He thought it might have something to do with my health or forgiving my ex, but I strongly felt that those issues were noise and that my wall was something in my spirit. I was going to call my biblical counselor who it totally tapped into His voice or maybe my new Spirit-filled friends.
I then heard the Lord frustratingly tell me, “for the thousandth time, why are you leaning on man for these answers? You are not to share this with ANYONE but Me until the 7th day. I want you to BELIEVE that you are both capable and worthy of hearing directly from me.” I instantly realized that this was my Jericho Wall. I kept surrounding myself with human guides to protect me from the possibility that I might not be able hear from God because I’m not worthy. If they didn’t get it right, it was because they couldn’t hear right. Keeping this revelation to myself wasn’t going to be easy because I’m a verbal processor. I felt naked and alone but I knew that God sent me to receive that prophetic word and I wanted to honor Him and be obedient to the rules of the road.
I woke up the next morning, eager to get started. But how? I didn’t know where to start, so I sat in my office speaking in tongues. I’ve had an insatiable appetite for reading the last three weeks (since being baptized in the Holy Spirit). I had just finished reading, “The Deborah Anointing”. The book describes how the role of women is to be God’s helper in advancing His kingdom and being a living witness to the fruits of the Spirit. It also details how each one of us has a divine appointment to that end. She reminded us that we need not be afraid because the Holy Spirit will comfort, encourage, prompt, advise and convict us throughout the journey. We will not be alone! The end of every chapter had prayers of release and activation to prepare us for our anointed spring season. Then the Lord told me that reading those prayers at 6:30 in the morning every day would be my march around the wall. I joyfully obeyed.
I then felt a prompting to begin reading Benny Hinn’s book, “Good Morning, Holy Spirit”. I soon realized that the Holy Spirit used Benny to explain the seemingly unexplainable to me. The book described how to build a relationship with the Holy Spirit from day one. I had never really understood the role of each part of the Godhead. It was somewhere around the third day after I finished Benny’s book that I started humming old Baptist hymns like, “In the Garden” and “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” in my head. The Holy Spirit then enveloped me in His arms and said, “yes, that’s right, Jesus may get all the credit in those songs, but it is the Holy Spirit who ‘walks with you, and talks with you, and tells you that you are His own.” The song continues, “And the joy we share as we tarry there, None other has ever known”. That song used to give me so much comfort as a child in church and now I know that it was the Holy Spirit doing the comforting. I was experiencing a full restoration of my guilt-laden Baptist past. I started jumping around my house, beaming, singing, “Hallelujah, I really can hear the Holy Spirit!”. He happily took my high-five! I could feel Him, I could touch Him, I could hear Him, I could sense Him! How cool was that?
I enthusiastically woke up the next morning reciting the prayers He gave me. I marched around my house saying each one with the confidence of the warrior princess He ensured me I was. It was incredibly empowering. I could feel the releases as I said them day by day. I could feel the activations filling every cell of my body.
I was baptized in the Holy Spirit the second day of my church’s women’s retreat. The first night had featured a speaker that I immediately connected with and a prophetic dancer who captured something deep, down inside of me. Once the music began on the second night, I felt like my inner ballerina was released and I ended up doing a dance depicting a reunion with my injured 5-year old self. I had never danced before and several of the attendees said that I looked like a professional. The Holy Spirit had shown up big time! Ever since, I can’t help but dance when I hear spiritual music. Back to my wall, I felt the prompting to dance on day three while we were at church. Near the middle of the song, King David appeared and I was dancing in the streets with Him. He kept encouraging me and telling me, “you can do it. Just listen to the Lord and believe!”. It was beautiful and I tried with all of my might not to let my imagination decide what it meant for my ministry. God promised that He would reveal it on the 7th day. I had to practice patience.
On the fourth day, the Lord told me that the key to discerning the voices I hear is to know His Word. Know the Truth. Study the Truth. I fumbled for a few hours with the Bible asking Him “where to do I begin?”. “Do I just randomly open the Bible or just start from the beginning or take a poll of my friends?”. Then “coincidentally” a friend came over who told me in conversation that the best way to get into the Word is to start with what is on your mind. Are you reading any books? What are the topics? Have you been asking God about a specific topic? “Start there,” she said. If it is a topic on your mind, the Word of God will have more stickiness because you are yearning for the Truth on that topic in that moment. “Thank you, Holy Spirit for sending someone to hold my hand exactly when I needed it!” I immediately started cross-referencing the verses mentioned in the books I had been reading. His Truth was being revealed and I felt more settled in who I am in Him. And importantly, I felt increasingly more understood by Him each time. We were building a relationship to last.
The Lord had been convicting me over the past couple of weeks that I had been using hateful words throughout my life to communicate because I had never been given the tools to cope nor did I have His Truth on my tongue. On the fifth day, I noticed that it literally hurt my ears when I heard people speak negatively, judgmentally, or in a gossiping tone. It was like a thousand bees buzzing in my ears. I also found that I was physically incapable of speaking the words of the enemy during the last two days of my march. I was so grateful that the Holy Spirit was giving me an unambiguous signal to alert me when words were not of Him. What an incredible teacher, one that knows exactly what I need to grow in Him.
On the sixth day, I marched around my house, shouting my prayers, with my full armor of God including the belt of Truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation and sword of the Spirit, around my Jericho Wall of doubt. I began noticing another theme: the Holy Spirit was using the ladies from my Bible Study and books over the past few days to highlight the importance of understanding the personality of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It is vital to building a deep relationship with Him. Voila, another book arrives entitled, “Beautiful Outlaw: Experiencing the Playful, Disruptive, Extravagant Personality of Jesus”. While the book combines the role of Holy Spirit and Jesus, it has helped me understand their personalities and given me deeper insight as I read the Word and specifically, the Gospels. “What a Friend I Have in Jesus”, indeed. They are no longer just words, I am experiencing them through our personal relationship! Ahhh………. I went to bed that night, feeling peaceful, heard, understood and equipped for the next day’s reveal.
The wall came crumbling down on the 7th day as prophesied, in my shower of all places, as I kept repeating, “I believe, I believe, I believe”. The Lord responded by telling me that He believes that I have a story worth sharing and through Him, I am fully equipped for my assignment. He told me that He wants me to write a devotional book based on Psalms and my testimony. Then the events of the prior six days flashed through my mind like the end of a movie with a twist ending. It all made sense. He’s in control. I’m just His instrument. This wasn’t the first time I was told that I needed to write my story, but the is the first time that I believed that I, through Him, could write my story while honoring Him and not hurting others. I can now look back on my life with the confidence that the Holy Spirit will help me discern my truth without guilt or shame as I share my testimony. I don’t need to run from it, I need to share it!
Lord, I humbly accept my assignment.
Your grateful daughter,