From a twig to an Oak tree

Growing up I think many of us have heard the saying in reference to children, ‘It is easier to bend a twig than to try to bend and oak tree.’ What does this saying mean? Well, a twig is a small thin branch growing of a larger tree. On the other hand, an oak is a hard durable wood; a strong, mighty and tough tree. It is unbreakable without an axe or chainsaw.

In the book of Proverbs 22:6 the HCSB translation says: ‘Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old (like the oak) he will not depart from it’. When a child is small they are like sponges and will absorb (taking everything in, whether good or bad). Therefore as parents, it is very important that we help them while they are like twigs growing off the larger tree; we must be good examples for them and to them . We must help them to make the right choice and choose the right path.

If we have more than one child, it is very important as parents to discern the differing paths for each child. It is so natural to try to teach or bring up all our children alike or train them the same way. Sadly to say I believe this is an area where many parents and society have failed children. God has created us with our unique traits; we have special strengths and weaknesses that need to be developed.

While we should not condone or excuse destructive self-will in our children, we must look for each child’s natural inclinations and gifting that we as parents can help them develop. I have learned from my own children that one may need strong discipline, while the other softer discipline; one may learn and comprehend using hands-on experiences, while the other picks up quickly by other means. As parents, we can help our children by talking and listening to them; by talking to teachers and getting involved in their lives rather than leave their development to others.

We pray that our children will seek and follow God’s wisdom according to Proverbs 4:3-4. Many parents want to make all the choices for their children, but this only hurts him or her in the long run. I remember when my husband and I were prepping our youngest daughter for college, which we wanted for her. And then one day she came home and said, ‘Mom, I want to go into the Air Force.’ I immediately started trying to convince her that our choice for her to go to college was better for her. But the Holy Spirit gave me a check in my spirit to stop and listen to her. ‘Let her make her own decision.’ So I stepped back. She did go into the Air Force. She is now out. She was awarded a full tuition ride. She was still able to go to college. She encountered challenges, but she overcame them. I am thankful and grateful for how it all turned out. I will tell you it kept me as a parent on my face for her. This was not only a great lesson for her, but it also taught me how to step back and give her room to grow.

We must remember that our children are our future. We must ask ourselves this question: ‘What do we want our future to be like?’ They will be our future presidents, governors, lawyers, doctors, teachers, police officers, etc. This is a very serious thought provoking question. We have to train and teach our children; but we can’t leave it too late. We can’t train them when they are oaks. We must train them as twigs.

Father in Jesus name, help us as parents and as a society to do as it is instructed in Your word. For You instruct us to teach and train our children in the right way, and even when they are old they will not depart from it. May we live by a Godly example, using Godly words, and show acts of kindness to them and others. Help us Lord to do this in Jesus name Amen.

Niecy Lewis

Niecy Lewis is an itinerant minister. She is married with four grown daughters and grandchildren. She always says, ‘I love the Lord, and I want to follow Him.’