Why do you think we humans tend naturally to “me first”? Well, “me first” is a natural de-facto comfort zone. This is where we humans would naturally rather be. We can be so self-centered and unaware that “me first” is our lingo.  Remember the Zebedee brothers in Matthew 20; their mother asked Jesus for a favor that her sons be the chosen ones to sit at Jesus’ right and left hand in His kingdom. Never mind that Jesus has 12 known disciples and many others like Mary Magdalene who followed Him diligently, obediently and faithfully. Jesus had to make her aware that “me first” would not work in heaven. We cannot demand anything; we cannot push someone out of the way; we are not more worthy because of our earthly status; because we have more money or more privilege does not work in heaven. In fact, Jesus busted that understanding in Mark 12:41-44 where a widow’s meager offering was counted more worthy than the large amounts the rich people “threw” into the treasury. The Bible tells us that they threw their offering in the treasury; focus on that word “threw.” This depicts arrogance, a matter of fact,  and a lack of heart connection. These rich people had the money, the status, influence and place in society; but they did not have a place with God. Where God is concerned, “me first” does not work. He will do the choosing. He frowns on the proud. In fact He resists them. 

Something to note is that the “me first” approach does create resentment and strains relationships. It drives out accord, such as the one they enjoyed in Acts 2 when the Holy Spirit fell. We know that it was in that accord, that oneness, collective vision, that the Holy Spirit fell and demonstrated His power. When we have a mentality of “me first,” we invariably cause resentment in those whom we might be attempting to marginalize, leave behind, leap-frog over, etc. The other followers of Jesus of course felt marginalized by the request. They also wanted to sit at the right and left hand of Jesus. They were angry with the Zebedee brothers because they felt shut out. Remember they had also walked with Jesus. Not everyone can be first, correct? How do you build a team when everyone wants to be first; everyone wants to be seen; everyone wants to shine? How do you build a society where one assumes the right to be first and others should be last? It just will not work in God’ sight, and it will not work in heaven. Unfortunately it seems it works on earth, but remember that earth will pass away and all we do will be tested according to 1 Corinthians 4:13 – The work of each [one] will become [plainly, openly] known (shown for what it is); for the day [of Christ] will disclose and declare it, because it will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test and critically appraise the character and worth of the work each person has done.

Wow! If this is the end game what would become of “me first!” So what should our approach be?

One certainty is this: we will never enter our spiritual potential when we have a “me first” mentality. We will never be great in the spirit. I am enlightened by Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 20:27-28 when He attempted to quell the disagreements His disciples had on this matter. He said “whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—  just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

You and I will do well to heed this teaching. If we want to be first, we must be last. Sounds like an oxymoron, right? Yes, it is. God’s ways are not our ways. He uses the foolish things to confound the wise. He pulls down every manly imagination. Service is good. Someone going before me is good. Me being the last today is okay. Note I said last. I will not be the last forever. The rejected stone became the chief cornerstone. Remember that!  Life will not stop if you are last, or second! We will be okay.  Because I am not ahead of you does not mean I have failed, it could just mean that God has done a great work in my life and I am now more  patient, humble, seasoned than I was before. What a good instruction Jesus has given us. We will do well to apply this thinking to our present climate of politics. 

I remember a lady telling me these wise words: “I hate people demanding things; I don’t like people telling me ‘I want!’ I don’t like people using these two words together even if they have a right to get what they demand. I tell my kids, when you are in a restaurant and are giving your order to the waiter/waitress, do not say ‘I want’, say ‘I would like to have, please.’”  I thought of this for a while and then she added, “‘I want’ insinuates it is all about me. It is all about what I want and when I want it.  I do not like that.” Wow! I shared this wisdom with my children. It is so easy to demand what you want, most especially if you believe you have earned it. However, Jesus has taught us that the best way is not to have a “me first” mentality, but patiently and humbly allow Him to lift us up.

Someone might say, “but life is not like that.” My reply is this, “yes life is not like this, but in our case, it can be.” That is Jesus’ hope for us.

Linda Faith
Linda is a prolific writer. Her body of work includes inspiring poems, fictional books, and Christian living empowering books. You can find her work on www.amazon.com. Linda is also the pioneer of Joy Women, a platform she employs to inspire women all over the world to be all God has destined them to be. Read more about Linda at www.lindafaith.org.