When is it safe to allow your child to date?

The other day a father asked my husband, ‘Is your daughter dating? Our daughter is.’ When Kay told me this, it got me thinking. When is a good time? 13 years old? Maybe 14, 15, 16…? It is a difficult thing. I dated early and how I wish I hadn’t. It exposed my mind to a realm in which I was not mature to handle. I believe the reason why such is dangerous is because a young mind is not fully developed to cope with the feelings, decisions and everything else that comes with dating. You have a 14 year old dating, getting emotionally attached; feeling drawn and experiencing thoughts and desires which are maybe impressed on her – that she has no maturity either spiritually or emotionally to cope with. In such instances, you can see how easy it will be to be drawn and engage in underage sex. This then leads to a raft of life changing problems, like teenage pregnancy; exposure to sexual diseases; low education attainment etc.

At that very young age, children feel they know it all; they have a vast amount of wisdom and are able to try life. They feel mature than they are; they feel more equipped than they are; they feel to be free is to experience life! There are no boundaries. Unfortunately, peer pressure and culture pressures have contributed to this phenomenon of premature teenage maturity – that has shifted the bar and so they will try anything and do anything all because they are simply able to do it. The consequences of these mature engagements are not been thought out; the act is often more alluring than the consequences of the act.

And so I do not believe a 14 year old should be dating. I think there are some foundational blocks that we must continue building in our Christian homes; and as Christian mothers. We must build righteousness by talking to our kids about God’s word, discussing how their lives fit into God’s plan, and encourage them to keep their focus on God. We should teach our children to pray. Teach them to use their phones to read the Bible rather than simply text all the time. We should encourage our kids to keep healthy relationships; focus on them cultivating a healthy consciousness of their bodies, and having a determination to protect it from the devils ploys.

Now someone might say, ‘You cannot wrap your child in cotton wool. They have to learn. They have to experience life.’ I have seen many with this approach turn around and rue it. We can do it the healthy way, which is God’s way. I know it is by no means easy, since children are different and would have different exposures. However, who is the adult? Who is the parent? The responsibility rests with us. Let us do it God’s way. Let us build well, and the building will in turn stand strong. Above all, we must intensify our prayer for our children. I encourage us to be ‘Prayer mamas.’ Our prayer avails much because they are effective; become a Prayer mama.

Linda Faith

Linda faith is the editor of Jewels Magazine. She co-pastors along with her husband Revival Worship Church, Tampa. She is a prolific writer and powerful speaker, inspiring many women to be all God has called them to be. She is the founder of Joy Women’s conference which reaches out to empower, inspire and motivate women in their faith walk.